VFA Recommended Books


Don't Bite Your Tongue
Ruth Nemzoff

Parents make enormous sacrifices helping children become healthy and autonomous adults. And when children are older, popular wisdom advises parents to let go, disconnect, and bite their tongues. But increasing life spans mean that parents and children can spend as many as five or six decades as adults together: letting go is not an option for families anymore.

Dr. Ruth Nemzoff--a leading expert in family dynamics--empowers parents to create close relationships with their adult children, while respecting their independence. Based on personal stories as well as advice that she has accrued from years of coaching, this lively and readable book shows parents how to

  • communicate at long distances
  • discuss financial issues without using money as a form of control
  • speak up when disapproving of an adult child’s partner or childrearing practices
  • handle adult children's career choices or other midlife changes
  • navigate an adult child’s interreligious, interracial or same sex relationships
  • No other book treats the challenges of parent and adult offspring relationships as part and parcel of a healthy family dynamic. This practical guide will help parents play a vital and positive role in their children's lives.

About the Author

Dr. Ruth Nemzoff is a resident scholar at Brandeis University's Women's Studies Research Center and lectures widely on family dynamics. Her papers are archived at the Schlesinger Library at Harvard University where she also holds a doctorate in social policy. She has served three terms in the New Hampshire legislature and is the mother of four adult children. She lives in Newton, MA with her husband Harris Berman.


Website: http://www.dontbiteyourtongue.com/

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